Part of the Team

Day 7
Today I am thankful for all of the support that I receive at my school. Being a first-year teacher is all sorts of crazy. I feel like most days I am lucky to still be standing and know my name at the end of the day. I constantly have a mountain of paperwork looming over my head, and I find myself consistently multitasking everything from teaching to my thoughts. I can't even remember the last time I had just one thought at a time! Over this past week I've really started to see just how much support I have, and I'm realizing that I am not a lonely island at the end of the hall. I am getting a chance to get to know and work with more people, and I'm starting to really be me. So many people have been so willing to help me in so many ways, and I am so thankful for it! This job isn't easy, but it's possible when you have a great support team.

18 Reasons

Day 6
I am thankful for my students. Lately I've been making them write about their emotions (which they abhor) but it's been fun for me to get an insight into their lives. A few days ago we wrote about love, and I explained that there are many different kinds of love. As an example, I told them that I love them. They got all weirded out, but I think (I hope) they got the message. Over the past 3 months I have learned 18 new ways to love. Each of my 18 students holds a special place in my heart. I work so hard to make things good for them. I fight for them everyday. I love them like a mamma duck loves her ducklings. I may quack at them from time to time, but when it comes down to it, I'll do everything in my power to protect them and watch over them.
I love my job. I love my students. I love every day that I get to spend with them, even the days that drain me physically and emotionally. Those students are the reason I get up and go every morning. They are constantly on my mind. I am one lucky teacher!

Calming the Banshees

Day 4
Today I am so very thankful for the gift of music, and most especially Christmas music. I know there are those pre-Thanksgiving-Christmas-music-haters out there, but just hear me out. I'm not at all trying to skip over Thanksgiving. I love Christmas music because of the spirit that it ignites within me. I love how the holiday season (November-December) brings out the best in people. It's as though as a world population we decide to be a little kinder, a little more thoughtful. These feelings open the door to deeper and more tender feelings, and turn our hearts towards our Savior.
I had a pretty rough day. A phone call at 9 am disrupted my teaching, and for the next hour and a half I left my class in the hands of a more than capable para while I dealt with some behavior issues. And that was just the beginning of the day. By the time the day was over I was worn out and done. I had planned to go to Gville, so on the way out I turned up my Christmas tunes. The spirit of peace and thanksgiving slowly but surely entered my heart. Instead of bemoaning my day I found myself thankful that I had been able to handle the situations confidently, and competently. I was thankful for the realizations that I had along with my student, one of which was that he realized just how many people are cheering for him. That was a huge breakthrough.
As I listened to my Christmas music I found myself reflecting on my Savior and how I could turn my cares over to him. I didn't entirely figure it out, but I felt those cares somewhat lifted. I could see the world clearly again without the haze of doubt and uncertainty. This, my friends, is why I love and am thankful for Christmas music.


Day 5
Today I am thankful for the education I received as I made my way towards becoming a teacher. I didn't love all of my classes, but I love that now I use things from those classes. I am even more thankful that the strategies they taught me actually work. Crazy, right? I tried out a behavior technique on my crazy 6th period class and it worked perfectly. Where once I had wild banshees barely contained by desks and focused only on the next funny thing someone would say, I found a group of well-mannered, quiet, and responsive students. And all I had to do was draw a box on the board labeled "Me/You" and explain the benefits of them getting more points than me. One point on my side drove the concept home, and my not so wild banshees earned 5 points by the end of class. Amazing! I am so thankful that someone before me figured this stuff out and shared it with me so that I could benefit and become a banshee tamer.

A light in the dark

Day 2
Today I am thankful for Nigel and Judy Willson. They are the YSA adult leaders in my ward, and they work so hard to make sure that the YSA population is taken care of. We had a game night last night, in which they had put together some Minute to Win It games, and a delicious curry. We had a small group, but we had a lot of fun. I am thankful to them for taking the time out of their lives to support us. They are the best!





Day 3
I am very thankful today for Fast and Testimony meeting. Hearing the testimonies and feeling the Spirit can be difficult when you're with 3 little boys, but there are times when the Spirit reaches out to you through the noise. Today's theme (to me) was centered on the Atonement of Jesus Christ and making it a part of your daily life. I know that my Savior lived and died for me, and that He took all of my burdens and sins upon himself, but I don't know that I reflect on this and appreciate it daily like I should. Lately I've been feeling a little lost spiritually, and I feel like today was the light in the darkness, pointing me to where I need to go to get back on the right path. I am thankful for the testimonies that were shared today, and for the thoughts and feelings they stirred within me.

Just beeee yourself!

Welcome to November! There are a lot of traditions that people have in November: some people enjoy playing in the leaves and drinking hot cocoa. Some begin eating soup multiple nights a week. Others stop shaving in support of "No Shave November." I like personally like shaving, so I'll stick to my smooth legs and just give you a blog full of THANKS everyday this month. I realize that I haven't updated my blog since May, and a lot has happened since then, but my focus this month is going to be on giving thanks. Perhaps along the way I'll find time to update on where I am in life and the journey I took to get here.

Day 1
Today I am thankful for a particular person, who will probably never read this post. I work with a wonderful woman named Rachel. Since the first day I walked into ERMS she has been there to answer my questions. She never seemed annoyed when I would come in multiple times a day to ask seemingly Captain Obvious questions. There were times at first that I would struggle with the way she would answer my questions by asking me a question, but I see now how it helped me to learn and to grow.
Rachel has always been herself when we've talked, and she has been a great cheerleader for me being myself. There were times when I was so worried about what I was doing, should be doing, forgot to do and everything else and Rachel would remind me to take time for myself. So many days as she would leave she would say to me, "You're worth it!" At fist I would smile politely and wonder what it was supposed to mean, but I think I'm starting to finally get it.
Rachel and I have had some good talks and have shared parts of ourselves. From her I am learning how important it is to be me and to believe in me, especially as a teacher. Rachel is such a good cheerleader, and I am grateful that I have her as a friend and coworker. I know that God puts specific people in my path at each stage of my journey, and I know that Rachel is one of those people.

Are you ready?

  Recently I've started watching a series called "Ready for Love." Basically, it's NBC's version of "The Bachelor," but it's three men, twelve women each, and I think it's a lot cleaner. I am not a regular "Bachelor" viewer, so I can't be sure on that one. What I like about the show is that there are matchmakers involved. These three "professionals" coach the ladies each week: they give helpful tips for the women to try on the date, and after watching the footage of the date, they ask questions and give feedback. I think this is a perfect set up! Ideas for how to let your man know that you're into him, as well as how to open up more to him and let him see who you really are. The encouragement and feedback after the date is most helpful, at least I think it would be. Just think-you're pretty much in a safe zone, the guy can't hear you, and you get to find out what you did right or wrong and then you can work on it. Who doesn't want to be a better dater, and thus, a better catch?
  A few weeks ago I did something that goes against everything I've ever thought about dating: I joined a dating website. (Insert audible gasp here.) I'm still not entirely sold on the idea, but I'm trying it out for 6 months (the length of my membership). It was a little slow going at first. I would look at tons of profiles, but not many men were looking at my profile. It eventually picked up, to the point that I averaged 1 view per day. I sent messages to a few guys in hopes that a spark might ignite. Finally, after what felt like forever, someone sent me a message! It was out of the blue, and not someone I had previously "viewed." He said all the right things (he had me at, "May the odds be ever in your favor...") and seemed like a really genuine, down to earth guy. After about a week of exchanging messages, he asked me out. Wahoo! I real date! I was so nervous and excited, but I said yes. Fast forward through the buying of a new outfit and getting mixed up about where we were meeting, and stop at the date. I had a good time. Conversation was easy and never lagging, and I realized some interesting things about myself. This guy really has it all together, and most importantly, he was the same offline as he was online: genuine and pretty much down to earth. I had a good time, though the evening ended faster than I thought it would. There was no "we should do this again," or "can I have your number," so I figured that was the end of that. It felt good to get this date under my belt, and realize that I don't need to be afraid of dating. Imagine my surprise a few hours later when I got a message from this guy stating that he had a good time, and offered his number if I was interested in going out again. Color me giddy!
  Fast forward again. I had been exchanging text messages with this guy, and he asked me out again. I had mixed feelings about this, as I wasn't sure if I was really feeling this. We did go out again, and I made an effort to get to know more about him. Once again, conversation was easy, but I felt like it was really surface. I tried to dig deeper, but I just got more top soil material. I really wanted to find that deep clay. At the end of the date I got a hug, but again, no offer of a next time. A few days later I got a phone call and we talked for a little bit. The conversation ended with "talk to you later," and that is the last I have heard from this guy. It has been about a week and a half of silence. I have sent a couple of messages, but no response. Either he's really not interested, or something big happened in his life. I just wish that I knew which it was.
  Never fear, I've stayed active on the dating site. I've sent messages, viewed profiles, and tried to keep it light and interesting. I send messages to guys who seem like they may be my type, and they look at my profile, but never message me back. I'm left wondering, what am I lacking? What is it about me that is not interesting these men? This takes me back to where I started-I wish that I had a matchmaker to let me know what I'm doing right, and what I'm doing wrong. I also want to talk to "may the odds..." guy.
Me:  "Hey (Odds) I get that you're not interested, and that's cool, but I have a couple of questions. What did you like about me? What didn't you like? What can I do to be more appealing to men in the future? What suggestions for improvement do you have?
Odds: "Um, well..."

To clarify, I won't actually do this. But I wish that I could! It would be even better if I had the matchmakers following me around and giving me advice in real-time. Men are a confusing species. They say that girls are hard to figure out, but really, it's them! Someday I'll maybe figure it out, but until then I'll play matchmaker/coach for myself. And just like they ask at the end of every episode, I'll ask myself, "Are you ready for love?"
  To end, I'll share with you lyrics that state best where I am in life right now. :)

Matchmaker by Fiddler on the Roof Cast
Hodel:
Well, somebody has to arrange the matches,


Chava:
She might bring someone wonderful----

Hodel:
Someone interesting----

Chava:
And well off----

Hodel:
And important---

Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Make me a match,
Find me a find,
catch me a catch
Matchmaker, Matchmaker
Look through your book,
And make me a perfect match

Chava:
Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
I'll bring the veil,
You bring the groom,
Slender and pale.
Bring me a ring for I'm longing to be,
The envy of all I see.

Hodel:
For Papa,
Make him a scholar.

Chava:
For mama,
Make him rich as a king.

Chava and Hodel:
For me, well,
I wouldn't holler
If he were as handsome as anything.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Make me a match,
Find me a find,
Catch me a catch,
Night after night in the dark I'm alone
So find me match,
Of my own.

(spoken)

Tzeitel:
Since when are you in a match, Chava? I thought you just had your eye on your books.

(Hodel chuckles)

Tzeitel con't:
And you have your eye on the Rabbi's son.

Hodel:
Well, why not?
We only have one Rabbi and he only has one son.
Why shouldn't I want the best?

Tzeitel:
Because you're a girl from a poor family.
So whatever Yenta brings, you'll take, right?
Of course right!

(throws scarf over her head, imitating Yenta)
(singing)

Hodel, oh Hodel,
Have I made a match for you!
He's handsome, he's young!
Alright, he's 62.
But he's a nice man, a good catch, true?
True.

I promise you'll be happy,
And even if you're not,
There's more to life than that---
Don't ask me what.

Chava, I found him.
Won't you be a lucky bride!
He's handsome, he's tall,
That is from side to side.
But he's a nice man, a good catch, right?
Right.

Reasons to Celebrate

Well, it happened. I graduated! Finally! Woot! Woot! Student teaching was amazing. I loved me cooperating teacher, Patti. She taught me so much! I will forever be in her debt. I was given a baptism by fire when I entered her classroom. We had a constant referral load of 7 from the week I got there until the day I left. During this time we held numerous IEPs and got kids through the process, but we still kept getting more and more referrals. It was a good chance for me to really see how to process works from start to finish. I had the opportunity to conduct several IEPs, as well as writing the goals.
I love my students so much! We taught K-2, and just like every other SpEd room, their abilities had a wide range. They kept me on my toes and I had the opportunity to learn how to really differentiate my instruction to best suit all students. They were the sweetest students a teacher can ask for. Some of my favorite memories:
*Constantly being caught by surprise and scared when they would hide and jump out at me.
*Students fighting over who got to sit in my seat so they could steal my brain power, then me having to get out my brain sucker to get it back from them.
*My first graders reading their words so well that they would "blow" me away and I would fall down (they loved that!)
*Learning how to survive my first grade tsunami
*Helping students feed their sight words to the shark
*Hugs and being told I was the best teacher ever
*Seeing the progress that students made through the data I collected
*All of the laughing and smiling with my students

I was so blessed to have the best student teaching experience ever. I can't praise Patti or my students enough. I have to share with you the very best, tops-all, capstone experience of my student teaching. The day before my graduation Patti had worked hard to make the day special, even if she wasn't there to celebrate it with me. I got to school to find a nice sign on the door congratulating me on my graduation. That afternoon, after Patti got back to school, we worked on various projects around the classroom. As I was teaching my Kindergarten class Patti got really anxious for me to finish. We were taking a few extra minutes for a Friday Fun activity, but I didn't think there was that much of a rush. Two different times Patti asked how much longer I would be, and said she really needed me to take a testing book to another teacher. I rushed the kiddos through their project, got them to class, and rushed the book to the other teacher. While I was talking to that teacher one of the paras came in and said that I was needed in the Speech teacher's room. I rushed over there only to find the door shut and the lights off. I opened the door and the lights flipped on, and a chorus of 30 little voices shouting "SURPRISE!" greeted me. Suddenly I was swarmed by all of these little kids trying to hug me at the same time. It brought tears to my eyes. I love those kids! Patti got them all to give me some space by telling them that we would have cookies and punch while I opened my present. Inside the bag were the cutest notes and gifts:
*Flip-flops, "We flipped over having you here!"
*Calculator, "We calculate you will be a total success in all you do!"
*Whoppers, "You've been a whopper of a great teacher"
*Extra (gum), "You are extra special!"
*King size Reese's, "A king-size hug to you from us!"
*Post-it notes, "A note of appreciation"
*Whistle, "Thanks for the company at all the receeses!"
*#1 Teacher key chain, "You are and will be a #1 teacher!"
*A card signed by all of my students
*A beautiful vase of flowers
It was one of the best moments of my life. I was sick on graduation day and barely made it through the ceremony, but this little party was the best! I am the luckiest girl!
Now I am in the process of looking for my dream job. I love elementary aged kids, and that is where I want to be. Finding a position in this setting is proving to be a little difficult. There are plenty of secondary positions available, but not many elementary. I have had one interview, so we'll see what happens. Here's to moving on to the next dream!