Star of Wonder, Star of Light

Here we are, December 20, and I am just now changing my background to a Christmas theme! I might be a bit behind in the decorating, but that doesn't mean that I'm not excited for Christmas! I chose this particular background because the wise men are one of my favorite parts of the Christmas nativity-actually they are tied for second with the star. I love that Heavenly Father created a new star to mark His Son's birth. Someone once told me that it wasn't likely that the Biblical account of a new star actually meant a new star, that it was more symbolic, and the star was probably just a bunch of angels or something like that. Now I like angles as much as the next person, and they play an important role in the Nativity story, but it crushed me to think that there wasn't a new star. I had always counted on that. I had always found hope, joy, peace, comfort and anticipation in that star.

I was so troubled by this that I talked with my sister about it one day. I am very blessed, and have a wonderful sister-and she has thoughts similar to mine! We decided that there absolutely WAS a new star. It doesn't matter that the other person had said that scientifically it wasn't possible for a new to show up that night, because it did happen. Yes, God has to abide by His own rules of creation, but who is to say that He didn't plan on that new star shining for the very first time on that holy night of His Son's birth? God knows all, the end from the beginning, and I believe that He started work on that star so that it would be ready to celebrate the birth of Jesus. I like to think of that star as a sort of birthday present for Jesus-He got his own star!

Jesus is the LIGHT of the world, and that is why the new star is so important to me. It is a beautiful symbol of the new Light that came into the world when Jesus was born. The wise men followed the light of that star and found the Christ child and were then able to worship Him. That light still shines today, and we too can follow that light to find Christ and worship Him. Truly, wise men still seek Him. The light of that new star shines in my heart every day, and the twinkling lights of Christmas remind me of that new star, that celebration of the birth of our Savior, our Brother. I am so thankful for that guiding light in my life! And this is why I love the wise men and the new star.

Barenaked Ladies "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings"

"O star of wonder, star of night

star of royal beauty bright.

Westward leading, still proceeding,

guide us to that perfect light"

Two beds and a coffee machine

I'll give anyone who can tell me where the title for this post comes from a gold start-for three (3) days in a row... That being said, two beds and a coffee machine is my world right now. Currently I am sitting in the laundry room of my hotel in Gillette, WY. The first load came out of the dryer wet, second load came out of the washer dry...so while I wait for my dry clothes to get wet again in the dryer, I thought I'd spend some time blogging!

I'm in Gillette for work, and I've been here since Sunday, Sept. 12. I should get to head home on Friday the 24th at the earliest, Saturday at the latest. When the opportunity to go out of town came up I was pretty excited. Who wouldn't want to go out of town on the company's dime and see a little bit more of the world? It sounded great to me-the company will reimburse my mileage, I get paid drive time (it's a 9 hour trip from my driveway to Gillette...) the company covers the cost of my hotel, and they'll reimburse my meals up to $25/day. Like I said, it all sounded really great! And the best part-work is like 3 minutes away from the hotel, so I can sleep in! Hooray!

So far the adventure has been, well, an adventure. I wasn't prepared for how bare Wyoming is, so I was really bored as I drove through the state to get to Gillette. It was fun to see all of the open land and realize that this is the same land the pioneers traveled on, only they didn't have the nice road that I did. I was thinking about those pioneers and all that they must've endured when the song "Prayer of the Children" came on my ipod. I was listening to the lyrics and thinking about the prayers that the pioneer children and adults prayed as the were in Martin's Cove, when suddenly I realized that the two mountain-ish things I was looking at were Martin's Cove. The cove is a very sacred and sad moment in pioneer history, and here I was, driving past it. I have to admit, I thought it was pretty cool that Heavenly Father had me listening to that song, having those thoughts as I drove past Martin's Cove. I know that it was no coincidence. On my way home this weekend I plan on stopping at Martin's Cove-I've never been there before, so it will be a good stop.

I've been doing a lot of things on my own on this trip. I've been eating dinner alone, and I've learned that when dining alone it's a good idea to take a book or something to read with you. I didn't the first night, and that was such a bad idea! I was so bored, and I didn't know what to do with myself! Now that I take a book the meal goes much smoother. I've also been making new friends, which has been fun. One of my new friends invited me to play Texas Hold 'Em on Friday night, but I declined. I was especially glad when someone else invited me again, and upon hearing that I don't know how to play invited me to just come and have a few beers. I don't drink or play cards, so I stayed in that night. I think they all had fun though!

On Saturday last I took my adventurous self, got in the car, plugged in the GPS, got it to find Mount Rushmore, then pointed my car in the right direction. Mount Rushmore (which is in South Dakota for those of you who don't know, and I used to be one of them) is about 2 1/2 hours from Gillette, and since I've never seen it before it sounded like fun. Of course I chose the worst weather day to go! It was cold and windy, only in the 40s, and it was foggy. The whole time I was driving I was worried that I was going to get there and not be able to see a thing. I was wrong, and I've never been so glad for it!

As I pulled in to view of Mount Rushmore I was struck with awe at the vastness and beauty of it. Truly, God's hand was in creating this masterpiece! The closer I got the more amazed I was. God truly blesses some people with some incredible talents! He gives us all talents, some are just more visible than others. Seeing this beautiful creation in the midst of God's beautiful creations was a really neat experience.

The rest of the week in Gillette was pretty uneventful. I made some really fun friends at work, went out with them a few times, had a bit of a stressful day, but in the end made it home safe and sound. I took my time coming home and actually stopped at Martin's cove. It was pretty amazing to tour the visitor's center and museum. I didn't get a chance to hike up to the cove-it was an hour round trip, and as it was I was already going to be home around 10 that night. It really gave me something to think about though, and I'm glad that I stopped.

Going to Gillette taught me a few things. 1-just say no when the hotel asks for your personal credit card when the company is paying. It will save you a lot of trouble! 2-making friends at work is really easy and fun! 3-sight seeing and touring is a lot more fun with someone else. 4-driving is a lot more fun when you have good jamming music. 5-queen size beds are nice and roomy for sleeping in. 6-there really is no place like home.

McDreams really do come true!

Many have been asking for this story, so here it is!

Once upon a time a fair maiden named Bandana lived in the land of MillerMotorSportsPark, called Miller for short. Bandana worked as a bouncer in the land of Miller, greeting guests and well-knowns from all over as they came to see fast cars drive around Miller's road. Bandana always dreamed of meeting a well-known while she was bouncing, since they frequented the land, but knew that it was a distant dream. But dreams come true.

One day Bandana was bouncing as usual when she heard on from the talking picture box that the very handsome well-known called McDreamy was in the land of Miller. Bandana thought about how cool it would be to meet this well-known, but couldn't think of a way to make it happen. She asked her boss-man if maybe this well-know needed a special bouncer to protect him, but the boss-man didn't think so. So it was back to the drawing board for Bandana. She thought of everything-taking the well-known a refreshing beverage, throwing herself in front of his rig...but none of it felt just right.

As the sun was descending on on Miller the boss-man told Bandana that McDreamy was in the pit-the dangerous area around the fast road. Boss-man said that Bandana couldn't go down there, but she could go to the area reserved for the well-knowns above the fast road and see him from there. Bandana was so excited as she took off in the high speed golf cruiser and made her was to the well-known's area. It took a little bit of effort, but Bandana was finally able to see her McDreamy and take some still pictures on her mobile calling device. McDreamy looks like a small dot in the pictures, but they were enough to make Bandana happy. She and McDreamy even made eye contact a few times!
Later while Bandana was ushering other bouncers around the fast road she saw McDreamy again-and this time he was much closer. Bandana's fellow bouncer encouraged her to go meet McDreamy and get a picture. "You'll regret it if you don't." Bandana knew that the other bouncer was right, so she went to work coming up with a plan.

The Boss-man saw how much Bandana wanted to meet this very handsome well-known, so he told her to take the gold cruiser and go find McDreamy. It only took a few minutes before Bandana spotted McDreamy, and as she slowed the golf cruiser to an even slower pace, she began to get nervous. Before she could talk herself out of it and drive away, Bandana called out to the well-known.

"Mr.Dempsey?"
"Yes?" he said as he looked in her direction. Bandana took a breath to steady herself, then went for it.
"I have a question-and you can totally say 'no,' that's fine..."

"Would you like a picture?" McDreamy finished the question for her. Relief came over Bandana as she said, "Yes."

Bandana got out of the golf cruiser as she pulled her picture-making device from its carrying case. McDreamy had a friend with him (no, it wasn't the well-known McSteamy...) who took Bandana's picture device and took the picture. Bandana was so excited to be so close to the very handsome well-known, and he even put his arm around her as they posed for the picture! After the picture was made Bandana asked McDreamy if they could take a candid picture, which he agreed too. Bandana held the camera up high as she and McDreamy leaned in for the picture, she pushed the button then she and McDreamy looked at the picture. What they saw made them both laugh out loud. McDreamy was a little taller than Bandana had expected, so McDreamy's forehead was cut out of the picture. They decided to try again, so Bandana stood up on her tippy-toes, but McDreamy said "I'll come down," and so he did. Bandana pushed the button again, and this time the picture was great! Bandana and McDreamy said their goodbyes, knowing that history had been made.

And that is how the fair maiden Bandana's mcdreams came true, and she met the very handsome well-known McDreamy.

The End

Love is a many splendid thing...all you need is love!

This past week I went to the wedding of the century. No, it wasn't Bella and Edward's wedding, but that of my friends Jenna and Addison. I went to the reception looking forward to seeing old mission friends, congratulating the happy couple, and maybe getting my piece of wedding cake. I wasn't expecting the deep insights and thoughts that would accompany my attendance that night.
I suppose that as of late I have become a bit of a cynic when it comes to love, which is really weird for me. I'm the kind of person who has always been in love with love, and I love a good romance. For one reason or another I have lost that recently. But Jenna and Addison helped me to gain that part of me back again. As I was at their reception I saw how in love the two of them are, and you could literally feel the newness and excitement of their love. It took me back to how I always feel at the end of a good romance novel or movie-like the world is mine for the taking, and that love is a very real and literal part of it. It also made me feel hopeful to find that kind of love in my own life. Seeing Jenna and Addison as they gazed lovingly into each other's eyes was just the remedy that this lost heart needed.
I don't know what it is about love and romance that has always appealed to me. Perhaps it's the love overcoming all obstacles part of it, or perhaps how love happens in the most random situations and in the most random places. Or maybe it's that love can happen to anyone. I have been in love once in my life, and perhaps that is where my cynicism started. I was head over heels for this guy, and I remember coming home from a date one night and singing/thinking to myself "So this is love..." (the song that Cinderella sings.) It was love, and it felt so good, so new! We were growing in our relationship together, and there was such a great level of trust there. Then one day all of that was destroyed and my heart was broken into a million pieces. Basically, I was told "I love you, but..." it just won't work out between us, you're too young, I'm not ready...there were many reasons, and I didn't really understand any of them. The only thing that I understood was that I had been in love, someone loved me back, and now I hurt in a way that I had never hurt before. It was literally a heart-wrenching pain, and the whole process changed my life.
Since that time I have become much more careful and cautious with my heart and my love. I've been timid in the waters of love. I've been scared and scarred by love. Since that time I have slowly gone away from that person I was, from that hope and joy I felt from love, but I think that it's starting to come back again!
On my way home from the reception I did something that I haven't done before-I turned off my radio and just talked to God like He was sitting right there in the car with me. We talked about my insecurities, and how I would really enjoy having some romantic love in my life right now. I realized as we talked that I didn't really have any specific qualities that I am seeking in the love of my life, which probably makes it harder for the Lord to match me up with the right person! So together the Lord and I came up with a list. Here it is for your enjoyment!

Qualities I need in that special someone:
*Strong relationship with Jesus Christ
*Strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ
*Strong testimony of temple work and the need to attend the temple often
*Someone who makes me feel safe and secure spiritually, emotionally, and physically
*Someone who will make me laugh
*Someone who is passionate about what they do
---I've always struggled as I've tried to imagine the type of work my future spouse will do because I'm torn between wanting a hard-working physical labor kind of guy (like owns a farm or a ranch...) and wanting someone who is more of a businessman. My conclusion is that I want to be with someone who is passionate about what they do, and they know that they are doing what the Lord wants them to do, whether it's raising animals or crops, or working in an office.
*Someone who will love me in spite of my imperfections, whether they be physically, emotionally, or spiritually
*Someone who is like my Dad-every little girl wants to marry her Daddy, and I am no exception!
*Someone who is a leader
*Someone who is good at seeing the good in others and treating them like it
*Someone who inspires me

These are just some of the things that the Lord and I came up with, and a few that I thought of as I was writing. Basically, I just want to fall in love with the perfect guy-the one who is perfect for me. I hope that I am not being too picky! And hopefully I will find this man of my dreams! My heart is getting excited about falling in love even as we speak! Haha
So as I've been thinking about all of these mushy things, I've remembered some of the most amazing compliments that I have received from men in my life, and I want to share them with you. They make me smile, and hopefully they make you smile too!
-I was once told by a boy that I looked like a fairytale. Wow, right? That was a pretty awesome one that I haven't forgotten!
-On Halloween one year I got all dudded up and put on one of my formal dresses and went to a party. I hadn't really thought about what I was supposed to "be" and so when one guy asked me I said the only thing that came to my mind (a wish I guess you could say) "Beautiful" He said "I mean something besides what you already are." What a sweet guy, and what a boost I got!
-Another favorite that actually comes from a roomie, but that I will teach my future spouse. I used to get ready in the morning and as a check of how I was looking that day I would ask my roomie "If you were the man of my dreams, would you fall in love with me today?" to which she would reply "Amanda, if I were the man of your dreams I would fall in love with you every day." Good one, right? I think that she should be a relationship coach and teach guys how to say sweet things like that to girls! Think about how much nicer the world would be... ;)
-This one is my all-time favorite. A guy once said that I have "celestial eyes" and that he felt like he could see into heaven from my eyes. Yup, getting that goofy smile just thinking about that one!

This has been a kind of random post, but it's a look into what is going on in my head right now. Not really breaking news or anything, but just some food for thought. Thanks for reading!

Good Morning Life!

"Good morning life, Good morning world how are you happiness? All at once I know what livin' can be!" Thank you to my good friend Dean Martin for the thought! This song describes my feelings for life right now. Things are going so well, and I am just so excited about everything. There is a lot to catch up on, so I'll get started!

Finally Work!

I finally have a job-two of them actually! I am working for a company called Acosta. What do I do there, you ask? Well I'll tell you! Have you ever gone into the store and it's all tore up, you can't find anything that you're looking for because they've moved everything, and there are boxes full of stuff all over? That's me! We go into stores and "reset" them, which means that we move things from one place to another. It's actually pretty fun, believe it or not! My little brother, JD, works there with me, an we make a really good team. One reason is that he is a lot taller than me! When we have to get stuff onto or off of the top shelves I make him do it. The other day I was trying to reach something way at the back of the top shelf and JD looked over and said "Stubbs! Let me do it before you knock the whole shelf down!" I gladly let him do it because I suffer from the same syndrome as the dinosaur on "Meet the Robinsons"- "I have short arms and a big head." Haha

The system that JD and I have set up is pretty good. We get our assignment and head to the right spot. Then I look at the plan o gram (seriously, that's what its' called!) and tell him where the shelves are supposed to be, and he moves them around. I like to let him do the heavy work! This past week JD made me do the shelves (which I didn't mind) because he was taking a few days off and wanted to know that I would be able to get along without him. So I'm standing on a milk crate balancing a shelf that's almost as tall as me and trying to get it into the right spot. I'm sure that it was a fun sight! But I did it! Back to our system...so once we get the shelves in place it's time to get the product on them. Usually we have a shopping cart and JD and I put the stuff into in then walk over to where we need to put it. We look like quite the cute couple, JD pushing his shopping cart full of groceries, me looking at the list and telling him what we need to get...it's so much fun! Once we have the needed products I look at the plan o gram again and tell JD where it needs to go. Man, it sounds like I tell him what to do a lot! We actually do it all together, and we're a pretty fast team.

Our first week the supervisor at the store we were at was really impressed, so he talked to our boss and requested us for the next week. Now we're working with him a lot. He's a good person to work for, so we're enjoying it. Every week Jerry tells us "I talked to your boss-we'll be in (insert name of city) next week." It's nice knowing who we're going to be working with each week, and the faces are starting to get more familiar. Not everyone on the reset crew is from our company, and we don't even know everyone in our company yet! When we first started everyone thought that JD and I were married. We had our interviews the same day, and our orientation. Everyone just assumes that since we have the same last name that we must be married. One guy we work with asked me one day if JD and I are married, and when I told him know he sighed with relief. "We had a couple that worked here and they used to scream at each other across the aisles. I'm glad that you guys aren't married!" It's actually kind of fun to explain to people that we're brother and sister. JD and I get along really well, even at work, so it makes things really nice.

I'm really loving work, even if the days start early and leave me a little more than worn out. I've discovered that this job is the perfect work out! The other day I noticed that I am so sore when I get home, and I wondered why. As I was in a squat arranging product the next day I realized why! I spend a lot of my day in a squat in front of shelves, or I'm stretching some other muscle group in some other way so that I can get my work done. A few months from now ya'll will say "Man! That Amanda sure is tone! I wonder who her personal trainer is?" And it will all be thanks to my job! :)

Job #2

I have another job, but I haven't officially started yet. JD (yes, we share this job too!) and I, along with our Dad, are working out at the Larry Miller Motor Sports Track. My Dad has been working there for a few years now, and when they started their summer hiring phase, he encouraged us to apply. Once again we interviewed together, and we were both hired on. We'll be working as "guest services" at the track when they have their big racing events. I'm excited to start out there and work on my tan! My Dad always has the best tan after a summer working on the track! Raccoon eyes, dark brown to the elbows, pearly white the rest of the way up his arms...look out world, here I come! Those boys won't know what to do with themselves when they see me coming in my multi-tone glory!

BFF, or so we hope! And Mom's surprise

So I have yet another venture with my brother-we practically share a room now. About a month or so together as siblings were sitting around talking, we all decided that we wanted to do something special for Mom for Mother's Day-and we decided that we would make her a craft room. Mom has so much craft stuff, and not a lot of room to make her crafts in. Hence a craft room. Originally we were going to make the room downstairs by my room, but my little bro stepped up to the plate and offered his room as the craft room and said that he would move downstairs with me. The room downstairs isn't exactly a bed room, rather it's a family room/den, and I walk through it to get to my room. Now it is occupied by my brother, and we have a blanket that acts as a door between our rooms. It's pretty awesome! The hardest part is that JD and I have totally different schedules and habits, and I'm usually asleep when he's awake, and he's asleep while I'm awake. It's working out though, and we're going to be BFF forever! Nothing like sharing a room again to strengthen that bond.

Getting Mom's craft room put together reminded me of the story "If you give a mouse a cookie..." because as we did one thing we would realize another that needed to be done, and then another, and another... We started out by clearing out one of the "gathering" rooms (I thought that was a better word than junk room" and organizing Mom's nativities. We had to get that room organized so that the stuff from what would soon be JD's room could go into it. Like I said, it just kept going! And the hard part was that we were trying to be sneaky about it! Luckily Jolene and I are the queens of sneaking! For my Mom's 50th birthday we planned a surprise party for her, and she brought cookies to it thinking that it was a church meeting! Like I said-we're the queens. So Jolene and I would spend hours working on our project while Mom was at work, then right before she got home we would run upstairs and sit on the couch, acting like we had been sitting there all day. A couple of times we were dusting each other off as Mom was walking in the door. We had a few times when we were almost found out-but to the very end we managed to keep it a secret! We had everyone in on it! Neighbors watched baby Turkey so that Jolene and I could devote our attention to cleaning/organizing/moving, and JD's girlfriend and my Aunt Tina even took Mom out for girls nights to keep her distracted. The surprise came off beautifully, and Mom loves her craft room. A Mother's Day gone right-thanks to the Sneaky Queens.

A Realization

So the other day I had a sudden realization and look into my future. First, I'll start with a quick explanation. Ever since my mission I've noticed that I am hyper emotional, and TV and movies are no exception. I've cried at so many movies since I came home, where before my mission I could count the number of movies that made me cry on one finger. Now I'm a wet mess at just about any movie. It's almost entertainment enough just to watch me cry! I also get very into what is going on in the movie, and I find myself feeling like I'm actually there, feeling and doing what the characters are feeling and doing. I laugh, I cry, I smile that silly smile of first love...it's crazy! So the other night my Mom and I had a girls night and watched a chick flick. During the movie I was clutching at my blanket for fear of what would happen, I was smiling as the characters realized that they were in love, I was misty eyed as they realized what was holding them back, I was laughing with them as they conquered fears, and I was cheering them on as they overcame obstacles and left the no-good-men in their lives behind. That's when it hit me. I have turned into that middle aged woman that you see in the movie theater watching the movies all by herself. She's wearing an over sized cardigan that has tissues overflowing out of the pocket, her hair and make-up haven't been done in days, and as she wipes her tears and blows her nose she cheers "You go girl!" to the woman on the screen. Yes, that's me. I've become a hopeless romantic. Ah well, it's fun! And who can blame me for enjoying a good chick flick every now and then?

Anything else you want to share?

I think that wraps things up for today. I have a few more stories to share, but I think that this is a good stopping point for tonight! Things are going really well for me, and life is really picking up. At least once a day I feel like singing along with Mr. Martin-"GOOD MORNING LIFE! GOOD MORNING WORLD, HOW ARE YA HAPPINESS?" I thank the Lord for all of the blessings that I have in my life. I know that the true source of my happiness comes from my Savior. He rescues me from the depths and brings me to the highest highs. He is the source of my happiness, the source of my strength. Truly, "all things work together for good to them that love God" (Romans 8:28) and "I will boast in my God, for in His strength I can do all things." (Alma 26:12) Thanks for tuning in! :)

Playing Catch-Up

I realized that it's been a while since my last post, so I thought I'd take a minute and catch up on things a little. Life was crazy and a little hectic for a while, but it's finally starting to smooth out a little. I've done a lot of thinking about school, and I've decided that Oregon is no longer an option. It was kind of one of those desperate reaching out for anything options, and I've realized now that it's not the right fit for me. I talked to a trusted friend a few weeks ago about the Special Ed program at USU, more specifically at the extension in Tooele. After doing more research and talking to her I feel like that is the right fit for me, at least for now. So I'm working on getting signed up and registered to start classes at the extension. Whew, it feels so good to feel at peace about that!
Yesterday my brother and I had job interviews with the same company. They went really well, and provided that we pass the drug test and background check we'll have jobs! Hooray! I am so excited about the prospect of having an income! Depending on your parents when you're 23 years old is really hard! You know that it shouldn't be like that, but there's not much that you can do about it, so you tuck your pride and ask them for money. I am super excited that I won't be a burden on them any more!
My sister and I have been working on a fun project here at the house. It's been fun to spend so much time together, and we're making a difference at our house. It's nice to look and see the difference. Now if only we could talk my parents into re-painting the house...
I'm really missing the Bama weather right now. We have snow flurries today-April 29. We shouldn't be having any snow! I miss the warm weather and sticky humidity...call me crazy, but it's true! And I miss everything that is blooming. We have a few blooming things here and there, but not on the same scale as Bama!
I think that about sums everything up right now. It's been a rocky few months, but now things are really starting to look up! Look out world-here I come! :)

Rescued

Today's post is the culmination of some thoughts as I've been studying my scriptures lately, and some connections that I've been able to make. I read a while back about a man who was going around openly rebelling against God, and he was leading many others down the wrong path. This was worrisome for many faithful people, including this man's father. The father, loving his son greatly, prayed and asked the Lord to please help his son. The result? The son got a wake up call. An angel of the Lord appeared to him and his friends and told them that if they did not want to be destroyed then they needed to stop what they were doing. This was a turning point in this young man's life, and when he heard the angel say "If thou wilt of thyself be destroyed, seek no more to destroy the church of God,"a great fear struck him, and he was "racked with eternal torment," and his "soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all [his] sins." This young man had a perfect recollection of all of his guilt, and all that he had done against God. He recalls that he had "rebelled against God" and had murdered many of God's children by leading them away from the paths of God, to destruction. He says, "so great had been the thought of my iniquities, that the very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror." He goes on to tell us how he was racked with the pains of a damned soul for three days, constantly living in this fear. I love the imagery that this man's words bring to his story. You can truly feel his pain through his words, and you know that this is making an eternal impression on him.
As this young man is in the midst of these pains he remembers that he had heard his father, a righteous man, speak of Jesus Christ, one who was the Son of God, one who would atone for the sins of the world. "Now as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: Oh Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death." Can you imagine the ray of hope that this man felt in remembering the Lord, someone whom he had so easily forgotten about? And what do you think that the Lord's response is to all of this? Here is a man who was among the vilest of sinners, openly rebelling against God, and now here he is, seeking mercy from the Savior of the World. Jesus Christ truly is the Savior of the World, meaning each of us sinners, and so His response is immediate. "And now, behold, when I thought this I could remember my sins no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more. And oh, what joy and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain." The Lord immediately redeems this man, just the same way that He redeems each of us. This man goes on to say that the pains he felt over his sins were so exquisite and bitter, but on the other hand "there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy." This man was "born of God" and this point, and tells us that we all need to be born of God.
Some of you know who this man is, others might not know, so I'll tell you now that his name is Alma, the son of Alma. This story comes from the Book of Mormon, and is one of my very favorites. I truly love it for Alma's descriptiveness in his writing, because you really feel like you're right there, suffering with Alma and then being redeemed with him. Thia story reminds me of a picture that a friend in Birmingham showed Sister Abbott and I one day, and with any luck it will end up in this post! It's called "Forgiven" by Thomas Blackshear II. The imagery of the Savior lifting and supporting a man who is holding a mallet in one hand, and a nail in the other is heart-wrenching, and brings peace to my soul. Too many times in life I am that man, doing things that caused my Savior to suffer the Atonement for me. Each time I sin it's as if I am driving that nail into my Savior's hand. And despite all of this, when I call out, my Savior is there to save me, to rescue me from myself. "I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day." How true that is!
This brings me to the lyrics from one of my favorite songs. I heard it at a church we were visiting with a friend in Birmingham, and the words spoke to my soul. It's called
"Song of the Rescued"
You oh Lord alone are lifted high
The shadow of Your wings is where I'll hide
You whisper the oceans calm
You reach out and I stand in awe
I live life to bless You
I sing a new song the song of the rescued
Light of the world shine in my heart like the rise of the dawn
While I stand in awe
In this hour my heart is filled with trust
'Cause there's no power or wonder like our God
You whisper the oceans calm
You reach out I stand in awe
I am amazed
Lord who am I that You are mindful of me
When angels bow down and heaven declares that You are God
You're my God
I stand in awe
I live life to bless You
I sing a new song
The song of the rescued

I know that Jesus Christ loves each and every single one of us, and that there is nothing that we can do to push His love away from us. It is never too late to turn to the Lord and ask for His help. He knows that oft times we will get in over our heads, and feel exquisite pains for what we have done to oppose Him, but He is always there, ready to lift us and support us. He is there to rescue us. I know that He lives and this is His plan-the plan of rescue.

*See Alma 27 & 36 in the Book of Mormon for more of Alma's story

If it's good for me today it will be good for me tomorrow...

I found out last week that I don't have much of a backbone. I'm trying to figure out what path the Lord wants me on right now, so I've been thinking about what my options are. For a little while the pharmacy technician thing was standing out to me. (Quick background-in high school I took a pharmacy tech course and became a certified pharmacy technician. I was unable to find a job as a tech when I first went to school, and so it kind of fell by the wayside.) Every couple of years you have to re certify, and I've passed that deadline. I figured that I would need to re-take a pharmacy tech course, which was fine with me. I started looking into a few different places, one of which was Eagle Gate College. Man, they are quick! I requested more information about 2 in the afternoon, and by 5 a guy called me to talk about the school. I told him my situation and he invited me to come in and talk with him more about the program and to see the campus. I was super excited to get the ball rolling, so I eagerly set up the appointment for the next day.
The next morning I headed into Murray to go see what this Eagle Gate College was all about. I knew that they would probably really push me to sign up, so I made up my mind to just say no. I only wanted more information to think on before I made any decisions.
I met the Matt, the man I had talked to the night before. He was a really nice guy, and seemed to be genuinely interested in me and what I was going through right now. He had served a mission too, so he knew what I am experiencing just getting home. I had a nice time talking to someone who has been there before, and someone who was anxious to help me succeed. Matt talked to me about the pharmacy tech program and the school in general, and he even gave me a tour of the campus. Everything looked really nice, and the program sounded enticing. It's a 9 month program, with four terms. During these 9 months I would receive hands on training, a small class, and they have a 100% placement guarantee after you graduate from the program. I was getting really excited about things and ready to get started. Then Matt and I started to talk the technical side of things-meaning the cost. I almost fell off my chair when Matt said "The program is about $4,000 per term, and that includes all of your books, fees, and uniform costs. The program is four semesters long, so you're looking at $16,000 total." ?$16,000?! For NINE months? That's almost a full education at any other school! I got kind of quiet and Matt said "Tell me what you're thinking." I felt like we were friends, so I told him that the price was really big, especially since I'm going to be paying for all of this on my own, and I don't even have $16 to my name, let alone $16,000. Matt assuaged my fears and started talking about financial aid. I decided that I would like to talk to them, but there was one barrier. For some reason I couldn't talk to financial aid until I had filled out an application, with a $40 application fee. Matt saw my worried look, lowered his voice and said "If you're worried about the price of the application fee we can have you fill out a promissory note that will allow you to pay at a later date." I remembered my decision from earlier that morning-that I wasn't going to sign up for anything, I just wanted more information. I told Matt that I just wanted to think about things, he said a few words to encourage me to not wait, and the next thing I knew I was filling out the application and signing the promissory note. Like I said, no backbone! I talked with financial aid, but they couldn't give me any more information that day, so basically I still knew nothing.
I walked out of the college with a heavy conscience and headed home. I almost (with Matt's help) had myself convinced that even though $16,000 is a lot of money, it would be worth it. Then common sense kicked in, along with panic. I had started the application process for a school that I have no intention of attending! That was when I realized how good Matt is at his job. He is a recruiter, and he recruited me, even though I had told myself that I wouldn't let it happen. I had to give kudos to Matt in my head. He really does a good job. I think that he should work for the military-they could use someone like him to get more people signed up!
i got home and told my Dad about my experience, and he about fell off the couch when I told him the price. He absolutely put his foot down on that one, and I had to sheepishly tell him that I owed the college $40 for applying. I got the usual eye-roll from him, but I knew that I deserved this one! I was even eye-rolling along with him!
This experience has taught me a lot of things. First-I have no backbone, but I am working on growing one. When I told my sister about my experience she said "Repeat after me; If it's good for me today it will be good for me tomorrow." This is my new slogan, and I've decided that the next time I decided to just "go check things out" I'm going to take someone with me to help me remember my purpose. I've also learned that not all the glitters is gold. Matt was my best friend and biggest supporter that day at the college, but as soon as I came to my senses he changed. He didn't return my phone call for 3 days when I called to ask what I needed to do to withdraw my application! Some friend! Oh well! I still think that he is really good at his job, but too good for me!
Now I'm back at the drawing board, still trying to figure out what I am going to do for school. Just to make it official-I am officially looking into the University of Oregon as a possibility for my education. I asked a friend in special ed what the best schools are for it, and she told me that the UO is one of the top in the nation. I got some info from them this past week that said that they are ranked 3rd in the nation for their special ed program. The price is a little high, but I can figure out a way to make it work. I know that there is a shortage of special ed teachers, and I've heard that there are grants and opportunities to have my education paid for if I agree to work in the state for a few years. I don't know all of the details, but that's what this time of "looking into it" is about. I'll keep ya'll posted on any updates!

Hello and welcome to my very first BLOG! I've heard through the grapevine that my novels of emails were a much anticipated event each week (or so) and a few people mentioned that they would miss those emails. I am not one to disappoint my public, so hence the blog. This way y'all can keep track of my adventures and vise versa. Please feel free to come and read at your pleasure, comment, anything! This is going to be fun for all of us!
Here's a little run-down of my life post-mission:
I've been able to spend a lot of time with my little Turkey (nephew) since I got home, and I am loving him more and more each time I see him! He has the cutest little smile, and he really knows how to use it! He certainly has me wrapped around his little finger!
I love spending time with my family as well. They have been so good to me, and they are so supportive! I am so grateful to have them in my life. I would have had a much harder time adjusting these past few weeks if it wasn't for them and all of their love. I really appreciate the great listeners that they are!
I applied to BYU for fall semester this year, and found out that I was not accepted. I was pretty sad about that, but life moves on. I'm still trying to figure out what to do next. I have about a million options swirling around my head and I just need to reach out and actually take one.
I'm still working on uncovering my room. It's been fun to find things that I had forgotten about! I think that's my favorite part because it's like I've got all of this new stuff that I want to play with! I'm loving finding my books, and just today I found my CDs! That was a happy find! Hooray for Michael Buble and Josh Groban!
I've also learned that I have changed a lot over the past year and a half. As it turns out I have become very emotional, and I cry at everything these days! My first movie, "Up" brought me to a very steady flow of tears, and that was only the beginning. I cry when I watch movies, when I read, when I'm watching TV (and it was "The Biggest Loser" of all things!). Basically I just like to cry these days! It's fun though!
I think that about sums things up for right now. I'm in a low-adventure part of life right now, but I know that it is subject to change at any time, and I am ready for the high adventure! Look out life, here I come! :)