"Grandma Bunny"

  My Gramma Ida had many fun things that she did for her grandchildren: every Halloween she would make us goodie bags filled with a half-can of soda, moon pies, usually a banana, and some candy. On Valentine's Day we would get a Valentine-themed goodie bag, and the same went for Easter. On the Easter basket she would write "Love, Grandma Bunny." One of my favorite parts of that Easter basket was the gum eggs. Man, I loved those things!
  Gramma Ida was always out and about, visiting and loving life. She had a way of brightening up a room. She was one of my favorite people in the entire world. I remember the day that I realized she was going to die: It was Easter morning. We had gotten a call the night before letting us know that she had suffered a massive stoke, and the prognosis wasn't good. My Mom rushed to the hospital that night, so on Eastern morning it was just me, Dad, and Jason. When I woke up that morning I knew that I was going to lose my Gramma, and I was mad. Easter is supposed to be about new life, and finding life where once it had been gone. So why was I getting the exact opposite? That Easter didn't feel like mush of a holiday. We went to church, and after went to the hospital. It was so hard to see my Gramma there, unable to communicate. I remember holding her hand and telling her that I loved her, and she squeezed my hand so hard to let me know that she loved me, too. It would be a few more days until she actually passed, and they would be some very hard and dark days for me.
  The week that my Gramma passed was a very busy week. I would go to school during the day, rush to her house to spend time with my family, then rush back to the school to help decorate for prom. One night it was just too much for me. I remember crying and telling my Dad that I didn't know what to do. I felt like I should be spending all of my time at Gramma's house with the family, but I also felt obligated to help with prom. On top of that, I didn't understand why Gramma had to die. My Dad is such a good listener, and like a good dad, knows just what to say. He told me that Gramma would want me to keep doing the things that I was doing, and not just sit around and be sad. He said that I was doing the right things, and that everything would be ok. I was still so sad, but felt a little better.
  That night as I got on my knees to pray, I found myself telling God what I really felt about everything for the first time. I cried and told Him that I didn't understand why He was taking my Gramma, and that it wasn't fair. I begged Him to let her stay, and let her be ok. In the anguish of my soul I felt a sense of peace come over me. I knew that though Gramma was going to pass, that it was going to be ok. I felt the joy and excitement of her being reunited with her Savior. In that moment my Savior carried all of the grief and pain that I had been carrying on my own. I came to understand what Easter really is about: life, where once life had been lost. Because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ we know that this is not the end, and that there is life after this. We will all have the chance to be resurrected and live with Him again. I felt all of these things so surely in my heart, and I just knew that everything was going to work out. I felt my Savior's love for me, my family, and especially for my Gramma.
  The next afternoon I was at my Gramma's house for my usual afternoon visit. While I was there my Gramma slipped from this life into the next. In that moment I should have been devastated, but I literally felt lifted and supported, and a remembrance of all that I had felt and learned the night before rushed back into my mind. I knew that my Gramma was with her Savior, and that while we would miss her here on earth, we would be with her again. That didn't stop me from crying then, or now, but it's a reassurance that I cling to, to this day.
  That Easter was a hard one for me, and I have to admit that since then Easter has not been the same, at least for me. It was a few years before I would really enjoy Easter celebrations again, but now I do. It's still hard when Easter rolls around-I will always associate it with my Gramma's passing, though the days aren't always right. But even more so, I associate Easter with when I came to a sure knowledge of the life, death, resurrection, and renewed life of my Savior, Jesus Christ. With Him, all things are possible.
  I think about my Gramma Ida often, and the things that she taught me. I am so thankful for the lesson that I learned from her death. I am so thankful for the knowledge that I have that her death was not the end, and that I will see her again someday. I know that as an absolute truth. Our Father in Heaven loves us, and He has a plan for us to be able to live with Him and those we love eternally. If you have any questions about that plan, feel free to ask me. I love to answer questions! You can also find out more at: www.mormon.org

 

Mi Familia

   I've said it before, and I'll say it a millions times over, my life is a series of fortunate events. The most fortunate of those events is the family that I was born into. I love my family more than I could ever describe. I am especially blessed to have had the grandparents that I had. Both sets lived within 2 blocks of each other, in the same town we lived in. Holidays were great! We could bounce between both houses with no problems!
  Tonight I want to focus some attention on my Medina grandparents, Grampa Ernie and Gramma Ida. I know you wouldn't believe it to look at me, but I am half Hispanic. I grew up eating fresh tortillas and tamales, pisole with chili colorado, and plenty of other delicious foods, made by my Gramma or my Mom. I often listened as my grandparents would converse with their family and friends in Spanish, completely oblivious to what was being said. When I was in pre-school I learned the months of the year in Spanish. My Grampa loved to show off my talent, and when he had a friend over would say "Come here, mi hijita and sing your song for my friend." I was never so proud as I sat on his knee and sang my little heart out. Once my Gramma was giving me a good talking-to in Spanish, and I was so mad that I gathered up my nerve to yell back at her, in Spanish. "TORTILLA!" I yelled, putting all my heart into it. I'm pretty sure that got me out of trouble...at least that time!
  I have so many found memories of my grandparents. I loved listening to them talk, and the way my name sounded with their Spanish accents. I loved the feeling of family and togetherness that came from them. My grandparents taught me what it meant to work, and to work hard. Some of my happiest memories come from them, along with some of my saddest. I lost both of my grandparents pretty early in my life-I was in 3rd grade when my grandpa passed, and in 11th grade when my grandma passed.
  It's been a long time since I've heard those soft Spanish accents, and the way my name sounds with them. It's been a long time since I've felt all of those feelings associated with that side of the family. A couple of weeks ago my Gramma's brother and his wife stopped by our house to visit. It was so nice to spend a couple of hours with them, reliving the past and feeling those fond memories. I am forever grateful for my Spanish side, and the wonderful memories that come from it.

And thus it begins...

January has been a roller coaster of a month! I began my student teaching, and I am loving it! I've never been so happy, stressed, overwhelmed, fulfilled, and tired in my entire life. I got to observe for the first two weeks, and now I am teaching. I love my students! They make me want to bang my head against a wall one minute, and the next they're giving me a hug and all is forgotten.
At my first faculty meeting I was introduced and told that part of the initiation process all newcomers had to sing the high school fight song. So I did. Half of the teachers stared at me like the were embarrassed for me. A few were making motions for me to stop and mouthing that I didn't have to. The rest looked at me as if they were sizing me up, trying to decide if I'm really as awesome as I look. (The answer, or course, is YES!) Later the principal came to me and told me that he had only been joking about singing. I wasn't sure how to tell him that I had been kidding too... Now when I get introduced to someone it's usually followed by "You're the one who sang!" Looks like maybe I did start off on the right foot!
I have learned so much the past few weeks. Every now and then my cooperating teacher asks me if I'm sure that this is really what I want to do. We spend every spare moment testing students, sorting referrals, gathering data, teaching small (and large!) groups, dealing with problem behaviors, and loving students. Am I sure this is what I want to do? Yes. Even when I get my 1st grade tsunami every afternoon, I still want to do this. I love teaching! I love learning! I love what I do!

I am who I am, and this is why.

It's crazy that the last day of November is here! I have had so much that I have been thankful for over the past month, and I am glad to have started this tradition to help me see all that I am truly blessed with. Tonight the thing that I am thankful for is the most important thing in my life: the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
 It is impossible to separate who I am from my beliefs: I am who I am because of what I believe, and what I believe is who I am. I know that God lives, that He is our loving Father, and has an interest in our lives. Because of His great love He sent His Son to earth, which is the greatest gift any one of us has been given. Because of my Savior Jesus Christ I have reason to hope, reason to live, reason to love. I know that through the suffering, death, and resurrection of the Savior that I will have life eternal. We are not alone and cut off from God while here on earth-He has given us the gift of the Holy Ghost to lead and guide us through life. It is easy to get lost in this life with all of the voices and choices, and at times life can get very dim or even dark, but there is a Light and there is a Way. The Holy Ghost will lead us to that Light and Truth.
 As another evidence of God's love He and His Son appeared to the boy Joseph Smith, who was called to restore the true gospel of Jesus Christ back to the earth. Because of this restoration we have the priesthood (power of God) here on the earth again. Through this priesthood we can be sealed to our families, to be together forever.
 The teachings that I have learned throughout my life have shaped me into the woman I am becoming. The gospel guides my decisions and directions in life. I constantly strive to be better, to be the person my Father wants me to be. The restored gospel gives me guidance as I seek to better myself. As I strive to stay close to my Savior my life is made better. His Word makes me better, and living my life as close to how He lived His life makes me happier.
Some would question my beliefs, and have on many occasions. For me the truth of what I believe can be seen each and every day through answered prayers, tender mercies, family, friends, and the knowledge that I am never alone, even in my darkest moments. I am ever and eternally grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

A Season, Reason, and Forever

When I was younger I thought that I would be best friends with the same people for my entire life. Someone told me once that I would find that the friends I had in high school might not necessarily continue on as my friends beyond that. She said that life would go on and take us in different directions. I did not want to believe that, and I vowed then that I would always have the same friends, no matter what. Since then I have learned that friends come into our lives for a reason, for a season, and that some stay while others go. I am still close to a couple of my friends from high school, but I have extended my circle since then. College was a wonderful experience that blessed me with many wonderful friends, whom I still am close to today. My various jobs, from babysitting to today, have provided me with cherished friendships that I would not have made any other way. I also have many friends that I have made from church.
 I do not say all of this to brag about my extensive list of friends, which actually isn't that extensive. Instead, I mean to express my appreciation for all of my friends. They have all taught me so much about life, and about me. Some of you reading my blog may not know one of my (sometimes) best kept secrets: I am super shy. So shy that if I go somewhere and don't see anyone that I know, I will leave as soon as possible. In fact, if I haven't been noticed, I will leave immediately. But if a friend is there, well that changes everything.
 I am thankful for my friends, and for the way that they are always there for me. I don't feel like I am as good of a friend to them as they are to me, for which I apologize. I honestly have the best friends a girl could ask for. While I know that some friends go in and out of our lives, I also know that some are there forever.

Becoming "Houston"

I have been teaching math to 9th graders since September. Most of you know that math is not my forte. You may also know that teenagers are not my forte, as most of them are taller than I am. Combine those two, and what do you get? A semester full of stress, that's what! I'm supposed to know these math concepts so well that I can break them down into smaller, easier to learn chunks, and teach them to my struggling students. Right. That sounds like a fantastic idea! While we're at it, why don't I just go ahead and take over mission control for NASA. I can handle it!
 The semester hasn't been as horrible as I imagined it would be. The students have been pretty good to me, for the most part. Yes, they are the same height or taller, but I think I've finally got that "adult" look down. As for the math, well, turns out I could've been a wonderful actress! Most of the time I am just pretending that I know exactly what I am doing. Luckily for me, we're working on pre-algebra, not insane Math I. For the most part I understand this stuff. And I've learned a few things along the way. Like the names for parts of an algebraic expression. And how to teach combining like terms 5 different ways (they finally get it!). All in all, it's been a fun experience! I know now that I can handle working with teenagers, though I still prefer younger students. I know now that I can teach math, as long as I prepare myself. I know that I can creatively teach math (did I mention teaching combing like terms 5 different ways?). I know now that I am the confident teacher that I need to be. I am Miss Mair, and I can do hard things, like teach math to 9th graders!
 Now, what I am thankful for: tomorrow morning I have my final observation. The big one, that everything rides on. I hope it goes well! After that I have one more class period, then I give my class back to their teacher. I am going to miss those crazy kids and the way they make me want to pull my hair out. I am going to miss seeing them and learning with them. I am thankful for the experiences I have had with these students. I am also thankful that it is coming to a close. That means I'm one step closer to student teaching. It's right around the corner, and it will be even more hair-pulling than teaching one period of math every other day, but that means that I am one step closer to graduation and getting a grown-up job! Yikes! Hooray!

This is something that I saw that sums up my experience.

Or when I finish teaching my math lesson to 9th graders

Chili Colorado Tuesday

Living in a small town has it's perks, including the fantastic Casa Del Ray Mexican restaurant which generously shares it's delicious aromas with us on a daily basis. A few months ago while at dinner my parents were talking with Steve, the owner, and they asked him if he could use some red chilies. He said sure, so after dinner we came home, grabbed the bag, and took them to him. Steve said that he would use them to make come chili colorado. A couple of weeks later we went for dinner and Steve brought my Dad some chili colorado to try. This took place a couple of more times, and eventually Steve put it on the menu for Tuesday nights. Since then we go to the Casa every Tuesday. I'll get a text from my Dad around dinnertime saying "It's chili colorado Tuesday," meaning that I better get my fannie up the stairs if I want dinner.
 Tonight as we walked in the waitress seated us, and confirmed, not asked, our drink order, which she has down perfectly. It's fun to be a "regular" at a restaurant! While we were eating Steve came by with a camera to take pictures to put up on his wall of pictures. I love that every week Steve comes over to our table to talk to us. He and my parents swap stories about the good ol' days, which were especially good for him and my Mom (they both grew up in Hispanic homes). I love listening to them talk about things their parents did, special dishes they made, and just the simpler life. Steve is always good to ask how I'm doing, and actually listens when I respond. He knows our names and our faces. You don't get that everywhere, but you do get it in a small town.
 My little town where I was born and raised might have its flaws, but it also has is perks and amazing things that the community does. I've lived in the same house for my ENTIRE life. I've moved bedrooms 2.5 times, and you know what, I'm content with that. I can't imagine my life any other way. I love Chili Colorado Tuesdays, and I love living in a small town. This is what I am thankful for today.