If it's good for me today it will be good for me tomorrow...

I found out last week that I don't have much of a backbone. I'm trying to figure out what path the Lord wants me on right now, so I've been thinking about what my options are. For a little while the pharmacy technician thing was standing out to me. (Quick background-in high school I took a pharmacy tech course and became a certified pharmacy technician. I was unable to find a job as a tech when I first went to school, and so it kind of fell by the wayside.) Every couple of years you have to re certify, and I've passed that deadline. I figured that I would need to re-take a pharmacy tech course, which was fine with me. I started looking into a few different places, one of which was Eagle Gate College. Man, they are quick! I requested more information about 2 in the afternoon, and by 5 a guy called me to talk about the school. I told him my situation and he invited me to come in and talk with him more about the program and to see the campus. I was super excited to get the ball rolling, so I eagerly set up the appointment for the next day.
The next morning I headed into Murray to go see what this Eagle Gate College was all about. I knew that they would probably really push me to sign up, so I made up my mind to just say no. I only wanted more information to think on before I made any decisions.
I met the Matt, the man I had talked to the night before. He was a really nice guy, and seemed to be genuinely interested in me and what I was going through right now. He had served a mission too, so he knew what I am experiencing just getting home. I had a nice time talking to someone who has been there before, and someone who was anxious to help me succeed. Matt talked to me about the pharmacy tech program and the school in general, and he even gave me a tour of the campus. Everything looked really nice, and the program sounded enticing. It's a 9 month program, with four terms. During these 9 months I would receive hands on training, a small class, and they have a 100% placement guarantee after you graduate from the program. I was getting really excited about things and ready to get started. Then Matt and I started to talk the technical side of things-meaning the cost. I almost fell off my chair when Matt said "The program is about $4,000 per term, and that includes all of your books, fees, and uniform costs. The program is four semesters long, so you're looking at $16,000 total." ?$16,000?! For NINE months? That's almost a full education at any other school! I got kind of quiet and Matt said "Tell me what you're thinking." I felt like we were friends, so I told him that the price was really big, especially since I'm going to be paying for all of this on my own, and I don't even have $16 to my name, let alone $16,000. Matt assuaged my fears and started talking about financial aid. I decided that I would like to talk to them, but there was one barrier. For some reason I couldn't talk to financial aid until I had filled out an application, with a $40 application fee. Matt saw my worried look, lowered his voice and said "If you're worried about the price of the application fee we can have you fill out a promissory note that will allow you to pay at a later date." I remembered my decision from earlier that morning-that I wasn't going to sign up for anything, I just wanted more information. I told Matt that I just wanted to think about things, he said a few words to encourage me to not wait, and the next thing I knew I was filling out the application and signing the promissory note. Like I said, no backbone! I talked with financial aid, but they couldn't give me any more information that day, so basically I still knew nothing.
I walked out of the college with a heavy conscience and headed home. I almost (with Matt's help) had myself convinced that even though $16,000 is a lot of money, it would be worth it. Then common sense kicked in, along with panic. I had started the application process for a school that I have no intention of attending! That was when I realized how good Matt is at his job. He is a recruiter, and he recruited me, even though I had told myself that I wouldn't let it happen. I had to give kudos to Matt in my head. He really does a good job. I think that he should work for the military-they could use someone like him to get more people signed up!
i got home and told my Dad about my experience, and he about fell off the couch when I told him the price. He absolutely put his foot down on that one, and I had to sheepishly tell him that I owed the college $40 for applying. I got the usual eye-roll from him, but I knew that I deserved this one! I was even eye-rolling along with him!
This experience has taught me a lot of things. First-I have no backbone, but I am working on growing one. When I told my sister about my experience she said "Repeat after me; If it's good for me today it will be good for me tomorrow." This is my new slogan, and I've decided that the next time I decided to just "go check things out" I'm going to take someone with me to help me remember my purpose. I've also learned that not all the glitters is gold. Matt was my best friend and biggest supporter that day at the college, but as soon as I came to my senses he changed. He didn't return my phone call for 3 days when I called to ask what I needed to do to withdraw my application! Some friend! Oh well! I still think that he is really good at his job, but too good for me!
Now I'm back at the drawing board, still trying to figure out what I am going to do for school. Just to make it official-I am officially looking into the University of Oregon as a possibility for my education. I asked a friend in special ed what the best schools are for it, and she told me that the UO is one of the top in the nation. I got some info from them this past week that said that they are ranked 3rd in the nation for their special ed program. The price is a little high, but I can figure out a way to make it work. I know that there is a shortage of special ed teachers, and I've heard that there are grants and opportunities to have my education paid for if I agree to work in the state for a few years. I don't know all of the details, but that's what this time of "looking into it" is about. I'll keep ya'll posted on any updates!