Reflections on mirrors...

One year ago...I was in Starkville, MS with my dear friend and companion, Jessica. It was a Thursday, so we were inside weekly planning, but Jessica still made sure that it was a special day for me. She made me a beautiful smiling breakfast, did my hair super cute, and even let me wear her sweater (which I later swapped for one of my sweaters...)! To top it off, Jessica even wrapped up some gifts that I had bought the night before with my birthday money and gave them to me at random times during the day. The day concluded with a wedding, fireworks, and a decorated room in our Eupora room. It was great day, and I was surrounded by so many people whom I love! It was a great birthday, my best to date, and it is all because of where I was and who I was.
This year I find myself looking back to that birthday, and I see some big differences. I was with people whom I dearly love, and they did a great job of making this a really special day! I got to choose what I wanted for lunch, there was singing and bugle-ing, I got a yummy cherry cheesecake, and my car is officially "legal" again. Oh, and I did get fireworks! Mama Gerri sent me a firework filled ecard, and as I pulled out into the road after I dropped Casey off, some people a few houses down set off a few fireworks, just for me as I passed. What a great birthday!
I am not the same person I was a year ago. My calling and responsibilities are different. I am different. People still ask me, ten months post-mission, if I am back to "normal" yet. That question makes me uncomfortable, because I don't want to be "normal" ever again, and I am saddened when I realize that I have done something "normal." Not that being "normal" is bad, but it would be turning my back on God to just put everything that I learned from my mission in a rubbermaid container, with my planners and random items I collected, and put it in the basement to collect dust, and only to be remembered randomly. My mission changed me, for good. Sometimes I regress from what I learn, and that is when the disappointment sets in. I know that I know better, and I feel bad for going against that.
Yesterday I celebrated my birthday with my family (a day early) and I wanted to look nice for the celebration. My plans didn't work out as well as I had wanted. My makeup was not what I wanted it to be, my hair was showing my roots from an ill-attempt at becoming a red head, plus it's growing out and looks funky some days, my face blessed me with a birthday present-a birthday breakout, my clothes don't fit the way I want them too...it all just added up to me not really being satisfied. That didn't take away from the fun I had with my family though-they love me and accept me no matter what. I really enjoy being with them! When we got home from our adventures I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed. I had just pulled my hair back to wash my face when I realized how dirty the mirror was. I cleaned it and was amazed at what a difference it had made. Then I realized that the other mirrors were dirty too, so dirty in comparison to the newly clean one, so I cleaned them too. As I was admiring how clean they were I noticed my reflection in the mirror, and what I saw surprised me. There standing before me was a beautiful woman. Her makeup was nice and flattering, her hairdo was cute (she even had a cute flower in it!) you couldn't really see the blemishes on her face, and her outfit was flattering. What had happened to the other girl from a few hours earlier?
It was then that I realized that life is all about perspective, and sometimes we are looking at life through a really dirty mirror, not even realizing how bad it has become. We just get used to it, and it becomes "normal." But once that mirror is clean, oh what a difference it makes! The next logical thought would be a question-how do I get the mirrors in my life clean again? The answer is one that I learned and knew so well a year ago-through our Savior, Jesus Christ. What happens if the mirror gets dirty again? Jesus Christ is still there to help us make it clean again. The best part is that we don't have to wait until the mirror is so dirty that we can't even see ourselves for who we really are-we can have a daily cleaning. Repentance is that process of cleaning, and it is ongoing. Everyday there will be things that come along and start to blur the image in our mirror, "normal, worldly" things, but they don't have to get the best of us. We are children of God, heirs to all that our Father has. We are divine in our nature, loved to the very core, and supported in all that we do. For these reasons and many more we don't have to have blurred, dirty mirrors. We can constantly and consistently have clean mirrors, allowing us to see who we really are. I am a daughter of God, and though the world may try to blur that imagine from time to time, I will always know that truth.
As I've reflected and written all of this out, I've come up with some ideas (goals, if you will) for how I can continue to be that beautiful girl in the mirror. Repentance is a big part of that, along with the daily work of keeping the mirror clean and continued work on the girl herself. They say that beauty radiates from the inside out, so that's what I want to work on-being a more beautiful person on the inside and letting that shine out. The churches in the South are known for the slogans they post on their signs in front of their churches, and one day I saw one that sticks in my mind. The church itself was undergoing some major construction and renovation. Their sign simple read "Please pardon our progress." I liked that because they were looking not at what they were right then, but what the church would be when it was completed. That's my motto too-please pardon my progress. I have character flaws and things that dirty up my mirror, but I'm working on them. I have a Savior to lead and guide me every step of the way, and together we will help that beautiful woman keep her mirror clean!

ps-pun totally intended on the title!